Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

--LENNY BRUCE

You are a white. The Imperial Wizard. Now, if you don't think this is logic you can burn me on the fiery cross. This is the logic: You have the choice of spending fifteen years married to a woman, a black woman or a white woman. Fifteen years kissing and hugging and sleeping real close on hot nights. With a black, black woman or a white, white woman. The white woman is Kate Smith. And the black woman is Lena Horne. So you're not concerned with black or white anymore, are you? You are concerned with how cute or how pretty. Then let's really get basic and persecute ugly people!

--LENNY BRUCE

There is only "what is" and that's it. "What should be" is a dirty lie.

--LENNY BRUCE

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

--LENNY BRUCE

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

--LENNY BRUCE

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

--LENNY BRUCE

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.

--LENNY BRUCE

A lot of people say to me, "Why did you kill Christ?" I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

--LENNY BRUCE

Life is a four-letter word.

--LENNY BRUCE