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Top 10 Best Limericks

#10

 

There once was a maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink,
as you'd possibly think;
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
 
#9
 

A dying mosquito exclaimed,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane.

 
#8
 

There once was a plumber from Lee
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea
She said Stop your plumbing,
There's somebody coming!
Said the plumber still plumbing... It's me!

 
#7
 

The sea captain's tender young bride
fell into the bay at low tide,
You could tell by her squeals,
that some of the eels
had discovered a good place to hide.

 
#6
 

In a flower show, Ned from Australia,
Painted his butt like a dahlia,
For colour and size,
it won the first prize
But the smell, was a hell
Of a failure.

 
#5
 

A young psychic midget named Marge
Went to jail with the most heinous charge
But despite lock and key
The next day she broke free
And the headlines said "Small Medium at Large".

 
#4
 

On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
were tattooed the prices of ale,
and on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was the same information in Braille.

 
#3
 

If you catch a Chinchilla in Chile
And cut off its beard, willy-nilly
You can honestly say
That you have just made
A Chilean Chinchilla's chin chilly.

 
#2
 

A preoccupied vegan named Hugh
picked up the wrong sandwich to chew.
He took a big bite
before spitting, in fright,
"OMG, WTF, BBQ!"

 
#1
 

There was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "Bless my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one."

 
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